What it is.

Food. The essential item to being alive (other than water). But then again Jesus (if he was really who he said he was) survived 40 days without.

I bet he drank his own piss anyway. What’s the biblical word for piss?

Just a sec: Piss in the Bible. Goddamn, I’m funny. Piss on Jesus.

Back to the subject of this post – Food. I love food. I love food more than I love myself. I have destroyed myself with my love of food. My whole day is planned around what I’m going to eat. I don’t like going a day without knowing.

Sometimes there are problems. I don’t always eat good food. I like too indulge way too much and way too fast.

My typical day looks like this: Oatmeal/Protein for breakfast, 3 cups of coffee.. Oh then we have lunch? Usually chicken and veggies or something really healthy.. I have snacks like apple & peanut butter in between. OH MY GOSH DINNER WHAT IS FOR DINNER. I usually ask Darcy what’s for dinner when I wake up. Dinner I eat whatever (within reason). Sometimes I work out. Then sometimes I go away to Seattle for 3 days and eat my weight in food.

To the naked eye I eat healthy. But you don’t always see me. I also have this thing in my head where I MUST TRY EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET.

Things I would have never eaten before now include: suckling pig (though I don’t know if I could do this again, SUCKLING PIG? breaks my heart), pork belly (oh so good), rib eye steaks (I never ate a proper steak until 4 years ago),  etc.

I don’t hate food, but sometimes I say I hate food. I love food. I love it so much that I want to hate it. I love food because it’s so good and without it I’ll die. But I don’t like eating what I’m supposed to all the time.

My body type doesn’t allow me to ‘eat whatever I want’ like some people. But then again, I’m probably still more healthier than most. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthier than me. I know some skinny people who have problems climbing a hill. I can climb a hill and I’m fatter than you.

4 years ago I lost 42 pounds.

I don’t think I’d lose that 42 every again, but I’d like to lose at least 20. I’m a happy curvy girl, but there are days where I don’t want to have to wear shorts instead of bikini bottoms, you know? I want to be able to walk without my thighs rubbing together. I want to be able to RUN without wearing 2 sports bra’s.

I’m happy, but I’m not. Does that make sense?

Back to this food thing. Food can destroy your insides or it can make you thrive.. depending on what you actually put into your body. And I’m learning this.

Oh, I’m learning it the hard way.